You cannot acquire the gift of the peace if by your anger you destroy the peace of the Lord.
True patience is to suffer the wrongs done to us by others in an unruffled spirit and without feeling resentment. Patience bears with others because it loves them; to bear with them and yet to hate them is not the virtue of patience but a smokescreen for anger.
True patience grows with the growth of love. We put up with our neighbours to the extent that we love them. If you love, you are patient. If you cease loving, you will cease being patient. The less we love, the less patience we show.
If we truly preserve patience in our souls, we are martyrs without being killed.
–Gregory the Great, Defensor Gramaticus
I found this bit of wisdom in the reading for today in a wonderful little book, Drinking From the Hidden Fountain: A Patristic Breviary. Pope Gregory I wrote the reading for today. The Roman Catholic Church, the Eastern Orthodox faith, the Anglican Church and some Lutheran churches recognize Gregory as a saint. The first pope to spring from the monastic tradition, he is the patron saint of musicians, students and teachers.
Gregory was born around 540 A.D., and lived in very tumultuous times for the Church which included the defeat of the Roman Empire by the Goths, famine and a plague that killed over a third of the population. The papacy was virtually forced on Gregory, who longed for the monastic life. Although he was deeply interested in and involved with the liturgy, Gregory probably had no substantial involvement with Gregorian chant which bears his name. (Gregorian chant was first written down in the early 9th century.) He made extensive use of the title servus servorum Dei (servant of the servants of God) in official documents, revealing a deep and abiding humility.
In this short little selection from Gregory, we see a hint of his humility and catch a glimpse of why he was so deeply loved and revered. Gregory points out how deeply our anger undermines the peace we so desperately long for and need. Yet although we want peace in our lives, we just aren’t willing to let go of our anger and resentments.
He encourages us to turn to the ancient Christian virtue of patience. St. Paul recognized patience as one of the gifts of the Spirit. Gal. 5:22. St. Thomas Aquinas wrote: “Patience is one of the humble, workaday virtues; but it is, in a real sense, the root and guardian of all virtues, not causing them, but removing obstacles to their operation. Do away with patience and the gates are open for a flood of discontent and sin.”
Long before psychology taught us about passive/aggressive behavior, St. Gregory described it: “Patience bears with others because it loves them; to bear with them and yet to hate them is not the virtue of patience but a smokescreen for anger.” Most anger arises from a lack of patience. In fact, many of our intemperate statements begin: “I’ve just about lost my patience with . . . . (insert the object of our rage here).”
Our impatience usually carries with it either an implicit message of our moral superiority or wrongs that we cannot or will not release. We are so anxious to claim the moral high ground that we forget that Jesus blessed the poor in spirit and the meek rather than the righteously indignant. Patience requires the understanding that although our brothers and sisters may not yet be the people God intends them to be, neither are we.
St. Gregory correctly showed us the link between patience and love. Again, Paul had noted this link in Scripture, writing: “Love is patient; love is kind.” Learning to love means learning and practicing patience. Admittedly, it’s not my strongest gift, but I know that if I want to create a peaceful life and a peaceful world, that path begins with patience.
James R. Dennis, O.P.
© 2012 James R. Dennis
I need to be remind of true peace. How true that our passive/ aggressive behavior hides the fact we are not at peace.
I think we all need that reminder. I know I do.
Although I read and like all of your notes, this one particularly hit home for me. Thank you very much for passing this along. Jeff
You are most welcome. It’s a real challenge for those in our profession.
God watch over thee and me,
Anger creates its own energy and it stirs the need to be expressed — this need is generally fueled by thoughts of how we have just been wronged and expressing our anger will somehow make that right, but if we stop and let those thoughts pass agreeing to do nothing for the moment we discover our capacity for patience.
I think that’s exactly so. I know a lot of people talk about venting their anger or blowing off steam, but I think the converse is usually true: the expression of anger fuels more anger, and it begins to feed on itself. Thanks so much for your thoughts.
Oh, Brother, your words are Spirit speaking to my heart. My besetting sin is wrath, I know it. St. Gregory pray for me, for us in our hearts, our homes, our work, our land. God bless you abundantly, Brother James.
I’ve certainly struggled with wrath repeatedly. It’s a real challenge, and St. Gregory reminds us we’re not alone in this important struggle.
May the love of Christ fill you,
This was one of the first texts I underlined with the marker you gave me.
We are of one mind, then (which should trouble you more than me).
Grace and peace, my friend,
Dear Brother James,
As the father of a 13-year-old girl, I find this post especially relevant. Much of the time, I have no patience. And St. Gregory is right: my love does not remain strong or persistent enough to see me through the rough times. Thank you for this difficult but important teaching.
My Irish grandmother used to say, “As far as raising children is concerned, you should love ’em until they’re 12, and then kiss them….
and drown them.” She had a wicked sense of humor, but teenagers can strain the limits of Christian charity. I hope the post was of value, and bless you for your friendship.
God watch over thee and me,